Making It Personal

As life moves along its merry path, I’ve begun to notice a paunch developing around my midsection. As someone who used to run six miles a day since high school and who’d always been thin, this was nothing short of a debacle. I never imagined the day would come when I might need to lose weight. But more than the issue of pounds is the issue of health. Quite frankly, I’m out of shape.

So I joined a gym.

Along with my new membership came a complimentary (as in free, not flattering) session with a personal trainer. I’d never worked with a personal trainer before, because I’m what you might call the self-starting type. Even with a free session waved in my face, I was reluctant to turn my body over to a professional. I kept pushing it off, preferring to begin on my own—some bike work, weights, swimming. But eventually, I relented, and got around to booking an appointment.

What a world of difference.

The level of workout you get with a trainer far surpasses that which you would achieve alone. A trainer motivates you, pushes you, and simply witnesses your workout. Sure you could probably put together for yourself an exercise regimen from a fitness book, but when you have someone else telling you what to do, showing you how to do it, coaxing and goading you to do those last two or three reps, and then calming you down when you think you’ve seriously injured yourself—the quality of your workout, and thus your overall health—improves dramatically.

The trainer also makes working out easier. First, even if you want to skip the gym, you can’t because (a) he’s expecting you and (b) you’ve already paid him for the session. Moreover, the psychological aspect of the workout is less stressful, in the sense that all you have to do is show up, shut up, and do as you’re told. No more worrying about the quality of your workout.

I don’t know about you, but, I’m always concerned with my workouts. With weights for example, am I lifting too little and not building muscle, or too much and risking injury? Is that extra rep the one that’s going to give me the chiseled torso I covet, or send me to the hospital with a herniated disc? Are ten more minutes on the treadmill going to enhance my cardiovascular health or give me a stress fracture? Is this workout going to motivate me to come again tomorrow or make me so sore that I’ll never step foot in a gym again?

Am I pushing myself too much or too little?

With the right trainer, these questions disappear. I know if I surrender myself to his regimen that in three months I’ll be a dramatically different person.

So I got to thinking: What if I had a personal trainer for my whole life—work, learning, writing, family?

It's not such a wild notion. The Mishnah advises us, “Kenei lecha chaver—Acquire for yourself a friend.” This friend, explains Rabbeinu Yonah, has a three-fold purpose: Someone to study Torah with, someone to look after your religious observance, and someone to consult with and advise you on all matters of life. Rabbi Efraim Epstein once suggested getting a personal mashgiach—a paid professional, to follow you around during your day and motivate you, encourage you, steer you, rebuke you. Whatever the situation calls for.

Imagine someone who wakes you up in the morning, hauls you out of bed and drives you to the synagogue. After services, he studies with you, then serves you a nutritious breakfast. He escorts you on the subway ride to work, elbowing you when an elderly woman gets on—a subtle nudge to give up your seat. At the office, he listens in on your phone calls, lifting a finger as the conversation begins to veer off into loshon hara and slapping your wrist when you accidentally let slip a profanity. He scrutinizes your interaction with your colleagues—making sure you don't stare at the woman whose blouse is a bit too low cut, even by Corporate America's declining standards—all the while scribbling notes in his mashgiach notebook.

Wouldn’t your life—spiritual and otherwise—improve dramatically?

We need partners in every area of life. A spouse, a chavrusah, a best friend. It's one of G-d’s ways of saying He doesn’t want us to be alone. We should always have someone to keep an eye on us, someone to lift us up when we’re down, someone to set us straight when we're on a bender, someone to bounce ideas off of. And we must also assume that same role for our friends and colleagues. It may not take a village, but that certainly doesn’t mean that we can go at it alone.

If you need me, I’ll be at the gym.